www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8lv7j… So now that you've arrived well you wonder
What is it that you've done to make the grade
And should you do the same?
(Is that too easy?)
Are you only trying to please them
(Will they see then?)
You're desperate to deliver
Anything that could give you
A sense of reassurance
When you look in the mirror
01. Another awkward meeting. We will never manage to find the right words around each other, won't we? And still I will always say that you are one of the best friends I could think of - without even hesitating.
02. The memory of that summer I spent with you seems so far away. In retrospective everything could be just a dream. Sometimes I ask myself what you look like today and what you would think if you knew that you were the one who made me question myself so much.
03. I will never understand why you are still so deeply attached to that person who treated you like a pile of shit. All those little hints make me angry as hell because you deserve so much better and my jealousy keeps on eating me up - even if you don't want to hear it and devalue everything which makes you uncomfortable as a joke.
04. I'm sorry that I mother you so much. I wouldn't have to do that if you would get off your ass finally. You always say you do everything you can but you don't and we both know that.
05. Sometimes I just want to grab and shake you. Every week you find another source for optimistic thoughts but in the end everything stays the same or gets even worse. And then again, the only one who can help you to get out of this mess are yourself. But I'm always afraid just standing there and watching you making one step after the other isn't enough.
06. Don't worry all the time, little mouse. You are too determined to be eaten by the future and you have no idea how much that makes me proud.
07. Don't think about making decisions for me. Don't even dare. I like you, I really do, that's why I try to think positive and interpret it as an honest act of kindness. But I'm afraid that you will go too far this time - ruining one of the stupidest achievements in my life.
08. You have changed so much in the past years. Once a while it scares me how cold you became. Usually it gives me a strange kind of satisfaction mixed with the feeling of being a proud parent, though.
09. I'm honestly amazed how you already seem to have found a place in your life. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have these ridiculous ambitions and could be just happy with what I am, like you. (Or maybe you are just unhappy like everybody else and I just don't know you after all these years?)
10. You reminded me on how difficult society is. Does it make me a hypocrite if I really feel happy about the fact that you found someone and at the same time hope that I'll find someone better?
11. Be careful who you talk to. Some people don't care, they are just curious. I may be one of them.rules:
- list 11 things you want to say to 11 different people.
- don't say who they pertain to.
- feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
- never discuss it again.
stolen from here: the-chemical-factory.deviantar…
art meme taken from gene-technology
)1. why do you draw?
I started drawing as a child because we always had enough drawing utensils at home. I continued because people were telling me that I'm quite good at it and it was a useful possibility to express some of my ideas. I am still drawing because I've just gotten used to it and it would be strange to stop suddenly.2. what is your biggest artistic struggle/what do you have huge problems with?
getting the poses and the scenery in general right like I have them in my head3. what are your goals? artwise
: become less dependent on references, get a looser drawing style, understand anatomy as it is: a interaction of bones, muscles and fat and not just a body's outlines4. what do you like about your art?
that I'm able to use of my graphic programs' functions properly5. what do you dislike about your art?
the stiffness, the colours (I kind of have a love-hate-relationship with brown, orange and purple), the unoriginality, fricking samefaces everywhere, my inability to deal with anatomy in general6. do you care about art history?
Well, I know a bit about art history and some things are quite inspiring. However, I get easily bored with it and I don't see the big deal with it either. Especially the history of postmodern art is so ridiculously pseudo-bohemian that it makes me want to throw up every time someone talks about as if it has to be taken serious.7. what other forms of art do you enjoy?
things I enjoy doing myself: nothing really (I guess you can't count "shopping things that would look perfect together but you're afraid to wear them" as an art)
things I enjoy watching/listening/viewing when other people do it with a certain skill: music (at least parts of it), woodworking, jewellery making, sewing, stitching, bobbin lace, clever street art, dancing (swing, modern dance), some martial arts, hair and make up design, mass games8. do you think in-depth tutorials on specific techniques/anatomical things are a good thing?
I like those tutorials which show a way to use certain functions in a program and I think they can be quite helpful, indeed. (Too bad most tutorials available of this kind are for sucking photoshop.)
I'm not sure if anatomy tutorials are helpful or not. For beginners I guess it's a good way to get at least a starting point when drawing creatures if you are lost otherwise. On the long term they don't substitute studying the 'real' living object, though.9. what keeps you going?
The circumstance that my brain just won't shut off, produces ideas on a regular basis and nags me until I put them down on canvas.10. how do you benefit from art, if at all? (financially, psychologically) financially
: Certainly not. I need a certain degree of security in my life and earning money with art is not a good way to achieve that, therefore it never was an option for me. psychologically
: Actually, doing arts it is more negative stress than anything else. However, because of it I haven't been bored since like the past 10 years which is a good thing, I guess?11. do you think you'll be doing art for another 5, 10, 20 years?
for another 5 years: Yeah, I think so.
for the next 10, 20 years: Probably not. 12. where do you get your inspiration from?
my mind which constantly creates stories about my characters even when I don't force it
pictures, pictures and pictures (bless tumblr). I've been collecting inspiring images on my hard drive since I've gotten my own computer.13. how often do you experiment, get out of your comfort zone?
I experiment quite often with different art styles. I never get out of my comfort zone, though.14. do you believe your practicing techniques are efficient?
Haha, no.15. do you practice at all, is it important to you?
I'm quite pathetic regarding this topic. I actually have the opinion that practising really -is- important and I always recommend it to fellow artists and especially to art newbies. However, I never get around to do it myself. If I have got enough freetime I'm not motivated enough. If I'm motivated I don't have time to draw.16. what would you never draw, under any circumstances?
I can't think of anything right now.17. do you think you'll be leaving dA anytime soon?
I don't think I will make a big "I'm leaving"-journal ever. If I will leave it will be quietly in the way that I'm more and more inactive. But I guess that won't be in the next months.18. are you part of a/multiple fandom(s)?
I'm a rabid fangirl of my friend's charas. Does that count? Besides that I really enjoy Mad Men, Game of Thrones and horror game LPs by Cry. I'm not drawing fanart or writing fanfictions, though, and I don't really associate with those fandoms.19. do you do requests/art trades/commissions? why or why not? requests
: once a year or so when I want to experiment with a different art style and don't want to abuse my own characters again or when I just want to relax with some quick scribbles art trades
: nope commissions
: see my last journal (I still have to buy those porcelain pens)20. how important is having a "fanbase" to you?
It's not that my life depends on it. I'm always glad when someone recognizes my characters, though.
...with less than 10k pageviews (Part 18)